An Explosive First Meeting
by esotaria
Summary: Written for LJ community DeathnBerry's second challenge: See You Under a Firework. Kenpachi and Kuukaku meet for the first time. Set postSoul Society.


Fireworks were for sissies. Zaraki Kenpachi believed this maxim with the conviction of someone who has never had to put it to the test. It made perfect sense, though! Sure, fireworks looked nifty, and watching things get blown to bits was amusing, but it's not like it took any _strength_ to do it. Any pansy-assed sissy boy (like that kid in the fourth division...Hanasmaroo or something) could light a match to set off a bomb. It didn't take any strength; all the destructive power lay in the bomb itself. As someone who still looked down on releasing your zanpakuto in anything less than the direst of circumstances (honestly, use your OWN strength for chrissakes! Only wusses relied on their zanpakuto's power completely), Kenpachi definitely could not respect anyone who fought with explosives. In his way of thinking, they were just being cowards.

But he was hard pressed to call Shiba Kuukaku a coward. Not after she slapped him for cussing in front of Yachiru. The slap didn't hurt – tough as he was, it felt more like a pat than a slap – but Kenpachi was still impressed. It took a lot of spunk to smack a Shinigami captain, not to mention the notoriously crazy 11th division head. But Kuukaku, knowing full well who he was and his level of power, didn't look the least bit frightened or repentant.

"Watch yet language, you big brute," she snapped easily. "There're kids around." 

Kenpachi glanced over his shoulder at Yachiru, who clung happily to his back, still giggling at Kuukaku's slap. "Yachiru?" he asked. "She's heard worse than that."

"Then maybe you should _keep_ watchin' your mouth," Kuukaku snapped, then sighed and rolled her eyes, irritably putting her hand on her hip. "_Men_," she said scornfully.

"You a dyke?"

Kuukaku's temper usually manifested itself immediately and violently. But here she simply turned slowly to stare at him, her glare chilling. "If you didn't have a little kid on your back," she said coldly, "I would blast you to pieces right now. 'Are you a dyke?' You men are all the same!" 

"Sounds like dyke talk to me," Kenpachi said. Not that he had met many lesbians – Yachiru was really the only girl he knew, and he didn't _think_ she was a lesbian, but at her age it was kind of hard to tell – but he thought it sounded like a lesbian thing to say. It all came down to the dick, he figured. Either you loved it or you hated it. If you hated it, you were a lesbian. If you loved it, you were gay. There didn't seem to be much love for the dick in this chick. "And don't worry 'bout Yachiru," he said. "She can take care of herself. She ain't a vice captain for nothing."As he spoke, Yachiru slid off of his back and scampered off to a safe distance, chanting: "Ken-chan's gonna play! Ken-chan's gonna play!"

Kenpachi smirked as he laid his hand on his sword. "Just try to blow me up," he said challengingly.

Kuukaku smirked and began pulling some things out of her shirt – big boobs seemed to be good for that, Kenpachi decided; he had seen Matsumoto do the same thing on occasion.

"You're gonna regret this, asshole," she murmured, her voice too low for Yachiru to hear.

Kenpachi snorted.

"I regret nothing," he said. "But I'm gettin' bored." She was taking too long setting up her explosives; yet another reason why explosives were idiot things to use in battle. He unsheathed his sword and attacked Kuukaku, but the woman quickly dodged and tossed something at him, chanting some sort of kidou. Kenpachi didn't bother dodging – what the hell could hurt him? He'd prove that to this chit. The bomb exploded, making his ears ring, and his skin did sting quite a bit...but not enough to incapacitate him in battle. He smirked and began to make a smart ass comment when suddenly Yachiru started howling with laughter. 

"Ken-chan's hair looks FUNNY!" she giggled. "Bigger Booby Lady made it all silly looking with her bomb!" Confused, Kenpachi put a hand to his hair and felt around. No spikes, just a great big thing of frizz.

"Damn it, woman," he said, "this takes me HOURS to do up."

Kuukaku let out a bark of laughter.

"Some macho man you are," she said, "all worried about your hair instead of the fight." 

It was official, Kenpachi decided, readying his sword for another attack. He liked this Kuukaku chick.


End file.
